Gonzalez & Waddington – Attorneys at Law

BPD and False Accusations

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One thing that sets my firm apart is that we’re very selective about the cases we take. We take cases where we believe in the client. We believe that the client is innocent and many of our cases, and the clients are ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fight to improve their innocence.

Those are the types of cases that we take. We’re very selective in the types of crimes we take. We take on some of the toughest, toughest cases and some of the most serious crimes. We generally defend people accused of very serious felonies where the deck is stacked, and they need someone skilled and aggressive to come in and level the playing field and fight.

YouTube video

Borderline Personality Disorder

Below is a transcript from the video: Borderline Personality Disorder and False Sexual Assault Allegations

Are you falsely accused of sexual assault, child abuse, or anything else? By a loved one or former girlfriend or wife? Have you ever been? If you’re watching this video and you have been falsely accused by a former spouse or loved one girlfriend if you’re watching it, have you been? Have you been falsely accused by a wife or ex-wife and ex-girlfriend, or someone else that you had an intimate relationship with either sexual assault, military sexual assault, rape, child abuse, or anything of that nature? If so, then watch this video. Please subscribe below for more content and updated videos weekly. Please, please click subscribe below, so you can get notified every time we put out a new video on military law and military sexual assault. Please click below so that I’ll notify you every time we put out a new video on military law.

Military False Sexual Assault Allegations

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It’s not uncommon for people formerly in a relationship like a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, roommates to be falsely accused by their former lover or the former partner or someone they had a close relationship with. If there’s a divorce or a child custody case on the line, then there’s even an increased chance that you would be falsely accused of some sort of sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, or even child abuse or even child molestation. And I’m talking falsely accused, meaning that you didn’t do it. There’s even something called sexual assault in divorce that’s been widely studied.

Sexual Assault Allegations in Divorce

It’s common in pretty much every country in the world has been very heavily studied in the United States, Britain, Canada, and Australia. They use an acronym. It’s SAID, sexual abuse, or sexual assault allegations in divorce. It’s so common for people to make allegations against their husband, or, or ex-husband, and as part of a divorce or child custody case that there’s an acronym for and there are experts who go around the country testifying on behalf of people that are falsely accused. So how does someone come to accuse someone else of sexual assault? You know, that didn’t do it, you know, a former lover or former spouse?

One of the biggest factors that we see is if the person suffers from mental illness. Now, if you’re watching this and you hate men, and you’re supervised, you’re probably thinking, Mr. Waddington, you’re a terrible person. You’re calling women crazy. No, I’m not. What I’m referring to is women that are, in fact, mentally ill, that suffer from some sort of psychological disorder, and that falsely accuse ex-boyfriends, ex-lovers, ex-spouses, ex-husbands, whatever, of things to punish them or to gain an advantage in some sort of a divorce child custody case, or just to make their life miserable.

BPD False Accusations in Military Sexual Assault Cases

We’ve had over 20 years. We’ve had dozens and dozens and dozens of cases where ex-wives, after the divorce or during the divorce, will use false sexual assault allegations against their husbands. And this is very common in the military when the husband is either going to divorce them move out of the house, or refuses to increase child custody, payments, or child support when the husband seeks to alter child support payments for child custody agreements. Out of the past year alone, about four of our 12 contested jury trials have involved spouses. The problem is that spouses like that, the mentally ill ones to make allegations are very dangerous because they can gather evidence against you to plant evidence. They know you so well, and they have access if you’re in a relationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife situation.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Military Abuse Cases

They know pretty much everything about you. They have access to your bank records, your social media records, they share a bed with you. It isn’t hard to plant evidence to say, hey, on this night, nine months ago, or three years ago, I was raped, we went to a party I had too much to drink, and he forced me, and I never told anyone because no one would believe me or I did it for the sake of the children. So I didn’t report the rape. I kept living with him until he filed for divorce for various reasons, then I decided to report it. We get that all the time. So one of the primary mental illnesses that people who make false sexual assault allegations and false sexual assault allegations in military cases military sexual assault allegations are people that suffer from some sort of a personality disorder, and the primary one is usually a borderline personality disorder.

Girlfriend with Borderline Personality Disorder will Haunt You for Years.

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Now, if you are a loved one or in a situation where you have a crazy ex accusing you of things you didn’t do, I strongly recommend that you seek legal counsel number one, number two, you need to read a book called I hate you don’t leave me, this is a book about borderline personality disorder, people that have that psychiatric illness, and that suffer from it and how to deal with them and how to avoid them and how to spot them. This book was eye-opening for me, you know, I read it a few years ago. I wish I would have read it 20 years ago when I was first getting started in military law and dealing with military sexual assault cases and court-martial cases. Because that book is the borderline personality disorder, people described in that book hit the nail on the head for many of my cases.

Read the book “I Hate You Don’t Leave Me.”

It gave me great insight when cross-examining those types of alleged victims, usually their fake victims. And it gave me a lot of insight into helping my clients, advising them, and helping them see the light. And to avoid those situations of getting involved with borderline personality women in the future. I’ll tell you of all the cases we’ve done talking to 1000s of cases over the past 20 years that we’ve been involved in. It is primarily women that have a borderline personality disorder that are accusing their husbands. According to the literature, both men and women suffer from borderline personality disorder. However, women who have a higher are more likely to have it. I don’t know what the statistic is now. Still, it’s considerably more women have than men have other personality disorders. For example, a narcissistic personality disorder is higher in men, and antisocial is higher in men, which is a whole another video and another topic.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Fake Rape Accusations

In this video, I’m talking about people falsely accusing other people of military sexual assault with a borderline personality disorder. So what are some factors to look for if you’re dating or involved with someone, and you’re wondering whether or not they have a borderline personality disorder, and if they do, you are at risk? So that the number one fact thing that you’re gonna see with someone who has borderline personality is the number one thing you’re going to see with a person with borderline personality, personality disorder, is there, they’re hot and cold. They’re there. Their temperament and their demeanor are hot and cold. So if you go to a bar, and you meet someone attractive, and they’re having fun, and there, there’s like a ball of joy, and they’re very sexually making advances at you and all over you and telling you how good you’re looking, they make you feel great. And they’re willing, ready, and willing to go from zero to 60 in the relationship. Next, you know, they’re moving in with you, you’re planning vacations, you might even be married, and they’re plotting about how they’re going to adopt your children. Once you get divorced, although you’re having a weekend TTY affair, in their minds, they’re ready to move in and marry you and take over your life and replace your ex-wife, who is still married to you, by the way. And the problem is this. Those things heat up fast with these types of people. And they get cold and violent, and aggressive very fast. And you’ll start to see clues. And it’s usually super hot. They’re so hot. You can’t resist the passion and the joy of being around this super lively super.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder Often Fabricate Rape Accusations

In the DSM-V, they’re also very promiscuous, very sexualized. So they’re beautiful to a lot of military men that are looking for some excitement. And they’re also notorious for breaking up marriages because a lot of men will go for these types of women who are generally very appealing to them at the outset, they might have a wife who is at home taking care of the kids, you know, a lot of times marriages get into a rhythm, which is normal. But there are then many these service members who meet someone over the weekend, who is just so much fun, so exciting. So sexualized, they feel alive again, until the Monday morning after where they tell the person, “Hey listen, I gotta go back to my wife. I like you, but we can’t continue.” Then you end up with a stalker because one of the biggest tours of someone who has a borderline personality disorder is their fear of rejection and how they respond to rejection. That’s one of the main things that psychologists and psychiatrists look at when diagnosing someone with this disorder. How do they deal with rejection? And it doesn’t have to be just the rejection of a lover. It could be a friend’s rejection because sometimes you have a woman on woman tax that happened from a borderline to just a random friendly met. But first, I’ll deal with a woman with borderline attacking a lover or someone she just met or hooked up with. When you tell them it’s time to go, Thank you for you know, I enjoyed this or I gotta go back to my life.

Ex-lovers with Borderline Personality Disorder will Destroy Your Life.

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They will start again, getting very aggressive, very defensive, very manipulative, someone who had emotional, some will get violent. And then they may or may not accept the rejection, the more advanced ones will plot out a way to re-interact with you, you might get a phone call after the weekend affair that you had said, hey, by the way, I think I’m pregnant. Or I forgot to tell you, I think I might have an STD, or you left your ring at my house. Or they might text your wife. You know, trying to be friends with your wife or befriending your wife or girlfriend, and they’ll start stalking you on the internet. They will. Some of them will physically stalk you. There are plenty of cases in movies made about this, based on actual cases where the woman will start stalking the man who rejected her, and it can be after even a one-night stand. We see these all the time with one-night stands for the client says,

“Hey, I’m married. This is this just for this TDY doesn’t go beyond this.”

The woman says, “Oh, I understand.”

It’s great when they go have this passionate love affair. Monday morning, That woman is showing up at the guy’s office to drop off some paperwork or interjecting herself into his life showing up at the kid’s school. And those are more passive-aggressive techniques, but they can begin to escalate. We’ve had cases where that guy continues to reject the woman with a woman will eventually start threatening. We actually see this all the time, start dropping hints that maybe something that happened between them wasn’t consensual, maybe I had too much to drink, hey, you knew I took an Ambien, why did you take advantage of me? We need to meet up over coffee and talk this out. If that happens to you, you’re pretty much screwed. How you handle that from that point out can make or break your case, you need to document everything being said. You should not be apologizing and admitting to guilt. Because that person on the borderline is probably recording and capturing everything you say for use against you.

Avoid People with Borderline Personality Disorder

And it may be great. You could go meet them for coffee, have her explain her side, you explain your side, and then you guys have sex in the car. And everything’s great again. You’re back to normal. And then she starts talking when you leave in your wife, hey, do you want to go have coffee another day. It’s usually a love-hate relationship. When there’s hate going on when she hates on you, then it’s pretty intense. There are threats, I’m going to ruin your career, I’m going to destroy your to call your chain of command, sometimes they will show up at your commander’s office, we’ve had this app a couple of times, where you have a colonel who goes into he’s a member of the General Staff, he goes into the general’s office and guesses who’s sitting in the office talking to the general on the open door policy, about nothing in particular, but just one become thank the general for his service to the country. But doing it in a way so that the colonel that she had an affair with will see her there, then they’ll meet in the hallway.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder will Ruin Your Military Career.

This just goes round and round, like the old; this is like the movie. It’s kind of like the movie Fatal Attraction, where if you give in a little bit, everything’s great, again, very hot and very passionate. But it’s impossible to separate yourself from that person. So again, read the book. I hate you don’t leave me. It’s terrifying. It’s a book written by psychiatrists who deal with these types of people with a borderline personality disorder for many who have dealt with them for many years. It’s scary to read it, but it’s best for you and your family members and loved ones who know how to avoid these people. And so what ends up happening is, these things can go on and on and on. Let’s say the woman does get pregnant on the second encounter. That’s a prevalent tactic.

That’s a widespread tactic. The old , “Oh my god, I’m pregnant,” trick is common. So now they have their claws in you literally for the rest of your life or, you know, for the life of the child. And they will keep coming around keep harassing you. And their intention is often to get you to not leave them.

Red Flags for Borderline Personality Disorder

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There’s a lot of red flags here. You meet someone that is like this. Be careful if they’re overly sexualized and throwing themselves at you. Honestly, you’re probably not that hot and good-looking in there. They’re not throwing themselves at you because you’re the coolest guy in the world. Men are kind of stupid. They kind of take the bait every time, like, oh my God, this, this beautiful woman wants to just have sex with me in the backseat of a car. And I just met her 20 minutes ago. And she’s cool. I must. I must have some game. You maybe you do, maybe you don’t, maybe you’re falling into a trap that you will not be able to get out of. So in many of our cases that involve these types of women, they will not back down. We’ve had cases where the woman just when we waive the article 32 or let’s say we don’t do the motions hearing or we don’t sub do a victim interview, which we sometimes don’t do.

Naive JAG Prosecutors Almost Always Believe Women with Borderline Personality Disorder, Even When they are 100% Lying

They want to know they’ll have the lawyer be like, you don’t want to interview my client. You didn’t want to. Why didn’t you guys file this motion? Because the victims ask because she wants to see the accused, that motion talks about having the ultimate power. If you falsely accuse a lover who rejected you after a weekend of crazy sex, and you’re truly mentally, Oh, borderline personality disorder person. You throw this allegation out there. You can have control over and interject yourself into that service member’s life for one to three years. And sometimes it’ll happen, they’ll go to court, and they’ll be sitting there in court, and they want to be in court to watch it all. They want to be in there to watch the opening statements. They want to be an adult. And I see it all the time. And they’re sitting there watching the accused come and go out of court, watching his family like it’s sick. And they’ll, and they’ll start befriending his friends and family members, wanting to wonder how he’s going. And I’ve even had them reach out to these are after, like a weekend affair with a client rejected the woman fairly quickly, quickly. And then the woman started stalking him. And I’ve had cases where that woman will start reaching out to the mother of my client who might be like a 60-year-old, retired school teacher, or 70-year-old retired schoolteacher, and they get boom, a friend request from the woman who’s wanting to know how their day was and wanting to stop by and get to know them. This is stalker behavior.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Stalking

To avoid these types of people at all costs. If you’re in a situation where they’re anyone’s dropping hints that they’re gonna accuse, you ruin your career or destroy yourself. Remember what I’m saying in this video, and you need to get someone to advise you and guide you out of the situation. Somebody was experienced doing these cases because they often end up going all the way in court. It ends up being a fully contested battle, where the alleged victim, the borderline personality disorder victim, who’s made a fake claim, they will modify, there’s testimony in their statements and in a way that it fits our opening statement it fits the cross-examination. And they’ll figure out from our motions, practice motions, file, what we’re arguing, what we’re saying. They will sometimes fabricate evidence that will come in with, with spliced together recordings with fake text messages.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Destroying Military Careers

I have seen it all. The good thing is, if you do your work, you can usually expose these people fairly easily. If you’re experienced at it. Otherwise, they’re very intimidating. Because how do you cross-examine someone who is a crazy manipulative liar? Who wants you to either be with them or want to see them in prison? Because if they can’t have you, then no one can? How do you cross-examine someone like that, who has been practicing their entire life, how to lie, manipulate, and be deceptive, who the prosecution has coached? And the prosecution always believes these women? I’ve never had a prosecutor is like, yeah, you know what? This person is not telling the truth, even when we prove to them with evidence. They’re always like, well, look at her demeanor. Because a crazy person can cry on cue, a crazy mentally ill person can sit there and look you in the eye and say things.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Military Sexual Assault Allegations

I had this argument with a prosecutor the other day. I said, if I came up to you crying and said that I was attacked in the hallway by a member of the Congress or by the judge, I gave a specific name. And I was crying and emotional. Based on that alone, would you prosecute that person put them in jail? And the guy said, No, no, I have to investigate. Did I say Why? Because in the case you’re prosecuting my client for it, you did nothing but take your word for it. And your decision to prosecute was based primarily on her demeanor. Like people cry all the time. Some people are very good at crime. Some people are crazy people who can cry, manipulate, and do all sorts of things and lie to your face.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder are Pathological Liars

It doesn’t mean that they’re telling the truth. So the bottom line is on this video, that borderline personality disorder, people are out there, people suffer from that it’s a severe, almost incurable mental illness, you can’t treat it with any drugs, it’s tough to treat with therapy. And it leads to an in is part of many military sexual assault allegations and fake or false military sexual assault allegations or rape claims. So if you’re in the military or civilian, and you’re falsely accused of a sexual assault or falsely accused of rape, you need to talk to a lawyer that experience dealing with these types of crazy victims and mentally ill patients a cross-examining him exposing them in front of the jury, because if you go in there with an amateur or someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, you could be sitting in prison for a crime that you didn’t commit.

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