Female Narcissism, False Allegations and Military Sexual Assault

My name is Michael Waddington and I’m a criminal defense attorney over the course of my career I’ve represented many men who are being abused by parasitic narcissists I’ve had to cross-examine impeach and discredit these types of witnesses so in this video I’m going to discuss with you what is a parasitic narcissist and why you should be worried if you’re in a relationship with one parasitic narcissists are among the most manipulative individuals you encounter especially in the context of criminal allegations involving sexual emotional or physical abuse

These individuals exploit the legal system and the relationships to portray themselves as victims fabricating or exaggerating claims to gain sympathy power or financial leverage if you’re a criminal defendant that is falsely accused by a parasitic narcissist or if you’ve been in a relationship with one understanding their behavior and strategy IES is crucial today I’m going to explain how to identify a parasitic narcissist and how to confront their lies finally we’re going to discuss how to effectively expose them in legal proceedings we’ll focus on examples from

Criminal cases to illustrate these strategies the first thing you need to know is how to recognize a parasitic narcissist a parasitic narcissist thrives on emotional and financial dependency this is coupled with manipulation in criminal cases they often exaggerate or fabricate abuse they turn arguments into assaults or consensual sexual actions into abuse or rape or sexual assault they played the victim they weaponized their perceived vulnerability their victimhood to manipulate law enforcement prosecutors judges and juries they also deflect Blame A parasitic narcissist will never accept responsibility for

Their own actions but they were accused their partner of abusive Behavior even fabricating allegations in order to hide their own toxicity and motives these are dangerous individuals people you need to be on the lookout for instance a wife accusing her husband of physical abuse May conveniently admit the fact that she was the one who is the aggressor in the incident she’ll reframe it making herself the victim she’ll do this to gain an upper hand in a divorce a custody battle or even in a simple argument

We’ve seen it often where they threaten to ruin their husband’s career by calling the command calling their boss all to gain in the upper hand in an argument and to exert some sort of control over their partner what are some of the patterns of manipulation parasitic narcissists often build their case in allegations with lies that unravel under scrutiny here are some common patterns changing the story their accounts evolve over time to include more details and more dramatic exaggerations they tend to to rely on emotional appeals

Over facts they often generalize and use vague terms like oh my God he abused me often when asked for details they’re very vague or claim they don’t recall they lack solid evidence and instead attempt to sway with tears and accusations the scary thing is the police the prosecutors and sometimes judges and juries are swayed by emotional outburst and crying because a normal person doesn’t go around crying and making false allegations so you have to have a lawyer that knows how to identify these types of patterns

Expose them and explain them to the jury they often engage in contradictory Behavior here’s a common one they claim that they fear the accused but they remain in constant contact they ask for favors or they show up uninvited or they’ll show up at their alleged as salent house in the middle of the night just to pick a fight with him and then to have makeup sex and when confronted with these facts they’ll often quibble backtrack or try to claim that you don’t understand that’s what victims

Do here’s an example we see commonly a woman might claim her husband assaulted her during an argument and then sends affectionate text hours or days later or ask for financial help or access to their bank account while trying to be sweet like nothing ever happened meanwhile we have false allegations hanging out there the husband’s often confused unsure of what’s going on and that’s part of how these parasitic narcissist maintain control these inconsistencies are crucial to exposing the truth in court as a criminal the defense lawyer

Preparation is your most powerful weapon parasitic narcissists are emotional manipulators but they often crumble when faced with facts here’s how to prepare number one you must gather contradictory evidence when I say gather I mean collect evidence detailed Records phone records text records just don’t take a couple screenshots make sure you have the dates the times and all of the evidence that your lawyer is going to need because you’re going to have to be able to lay the foundation to get these exhibit it’s entered into evidence

You should speak with a lawyer if you’re in a situation where you’re dealing with a parasitic narcissist don’t try to go alone because you could end up in jail for a crime you didn’t commit some of things I advise my clients to do is compile text messages emails photos Financial records anything that can undermine their claims the more the better even if you’re not sure if it could be relevant collect it and let a lawyer decide for example if the alleged victim claims that was too

Terrified to leave the house because of your supposed abuse then producing surveillance footage of her shopping and attending events during that time coming and going giving you kisses laughing joking those types of things could contradict the story that’s being presented to the judge or jury you also have to review prior statements narcissists often contradict themselves cross check police reports affidavits and deposition testimony for inconsistencies make sure your lawyer has these things and make sure they have them in advance so that they can prepare to cross-examine

The parasitic narcissist you also have to document their behavior keep a journal keep a log keep details dates times and keep as much information as necessary to be able to confront and expose the parasitic narcissist in a court of law if they’ve made similar allegations against others in the past gather that info collect those names the contact information if they have a history of manipulative Behavior bring it to light but you can’t do it unless you collect the evidence we need data points as lawyers without

Data without evidence we have nothing but arguments and arguments are not facts are not evidence now how do you cross-examine a parasitic narcissist during cross-examination parasitic narcissists rely on their ability to manipulate emotions and avoid accountability your job is to maintain control and expose their tactics here’s how force them to answer specific questions they will try to evade or ramble they’re experts at evading they can’t give a straight answer to anything the more damaging the answer is to them to their credibility to their case the

More they will evade so you have to be like a heat seeking missile when you hear them evading dodging the question giving non-responsive answers that’s when you double down and repeat the question make sure it’s one new fact per question leading questions and keep them direct and factual making sure that they answer the question before you move on sometime this can take minutes and it seems like you’re spinning your wheels but over time you will get the evidence that you need in front of the jury

Here’s an example from many of my cases a witness claims that they were too scared to leave the house after the alleged incident they were terrified of their husband or of their boyfriend or of their partner so you can ask a question like you testified on Direct that you were too scared to leave your home after the assault you would get a yes and they walk and double down and say oh yes I was terrified and you want to build that up you were so scared

That you didn’t leave the house you were so scared that you sat in your room you were so scared like you said on direct examination that all you could do is sit in the room and cry because if you left the room you were afraid he was going to beat you you afraid that he was going to kill you you were afraid that you would never get out of that house alive you want to establish that point and here’s how you come in after the alleged

Incident you asked your husband to go out to the movies as a matter of fact you bought tickets you bought tickets to Jurassic Park you got the tickets in the back telling him that you wanted to have some private time with him at the movie theater just like the good old days that was one day after the alleged assault in fact you did go to the movies if the person denies it which they will quibble meaning they’ll try to evade have the messages have that evidence

Ready and be cool be calm and be collected as you expose them in a very professional and very polite way one text after another and even have them read those text messages you have to be able to impeach or discredit these Witnesses without being baited into an argument or a fight another way to deal with an expose parasitic narcissists is to highlight their contradictions and there will be plenty of them use their own words against them for instance in your affidavit you stated that the defendant

Strangled you correct and you say that he left visible marks on your neck correct and then Here Comes in consistency when you talked to your best friend the day after you told her that you and your husband got into an argument you told her that you ran out of the house you told her that you were crying that you were upset and that he almost hit you those were the words that of your mouth to your best friend right after the incident you never mentioned that

He strangled you you never mentioned that he made marks on you you never mention that he ever struck you and if she quibbles you bring in the best friend or you bring in other statements to impeach her depending on the rules of evidence and your state the next thing you need to do is expose the motives there’s always always a motive if you look hard enough in a case where a parasitic narcissist is making a false allegation often it comes from losing the gravy train losing

The money losing whatever they’re sucking out of their partner now a parasitic narcissist is a narcissist so they lack empathy they are entitled they lie they manipulate but they’re also parasitic meaning they suck resources money time a place to live food drugs whatever they’re trying to suck out of someone that they’re manipulating they’re like a leech that’s sucking that person dry when the person is sucked dry or they get cut off that’s often where the motive comes in you have to be able to identify the

Parasitic narcissist ulterior motives financial leverage custody of children Revenge whatever it is you have to be able to identify the motives and explain that to the jury and cross-examine the witness so that the judge or jury can see that motive that way you can argue it and that way it becomes facts in evidence if it isn’t brought out as facts and evidence once again it doesn’t count it doesn’t go on the scales of Justice the judge or jury cannot consider simple argument from a lawyer they

Need evidence for example like you might have a question like this isn’t it true that shortly before filing these allegations you requested an increase in child support which the defendant refused or the day before you made these allegations you lost custody of your son your husband is the one who gained full custody of your son that upset you because when you lost custody of your son you also lost child support and again be ready to back these things up with other Witnesses and with impeachment evidence

Here’s a real world example a wife accuses her husband of repeated sexual physical in emotional abuse during their marriage she claimed she was trapped and Powerless yet the evidence shows that she initiated multiple large withdrawals from their bank accounts right before filing the report her husband found out she was cheating and decided to cut her off we have text messages that reveal that she often threatened him with quote ruining his career if he didn’t comply with her demands yeah if you’re watching this and you think

That’s ridiculous I have to tell you this comes up all the time some of these narcissists are so full of themselves and so stupid that they will straight up threaten to destroy their husband’s career in text so we have the evidence yet the prosecution will often go for it anyway another thing we commonly see is surveillance footage maybe of the outside of the house maybe at establishments or parties where they’re drinking laughing you know having fun showing that they weren’t quote too traumatized to leave the

House or that they were not in fear and in these real situations almost all always the story unravels before we cross-examine you’ll have the victim up there crying usually for hours sometimes days telling this woeful story of abuse of victimhood of emotional trauma it just goes on and on and they’ll be throwing out often facts that you’ve never even heard of before your client will be sitting there thinking where the heck is this coming from she never said this before man she’s going to town she

Must have taken acting lessons before she took the stand that is what I expect every time and we usually take a break before we do cross examination and so in the audience our supporters are often like oh my God this is not looking good I can’t believe that she’s saying these things oh my God we’re in deep trouble she was very compelling very convincing and I say relax go to the restroom get a drink of water we’re about to start the cross-examination and I come in

Because I love doing this it’s a lot of fun for me I’ve gotten really good at it so I can get up there cooly calmly and really have a good time EXP opposing a fraudulent liar in front of the jury in front of a live audience in the courtroom in front of the judge and in front of the prosecutors who are bringing this case it’s one of the more fun things that I get to do as an attorney so how do we do it the story

Starts unravel as we question the witness right we force her to admit the exaggerations the lies the threats and Hammer with facts with details with contradictions you have to have your stuff lined up one of the things I like to do is go in there with stacks of paper I’ll call it like the impeachment material and I’ll bring up a table and I’ll put stack one stack two stack three and I’ll hand them to the prosecution I’ll even hand it to the victim’s lawyer and be

Like hey uh by the way we’re going to be cross-examining her on this but I’ll give it to them just to create heightened tension so that that person who just was crying and lying for hours now they’re in trouble and they’re scared and they’re not sure what to do because I will slowly like a boa constrictor tighten the Noose around them until there’s nothing left so we stack these papers here and we go stack one stack two stack three sometimes you have 20 30 Stacks with

Pictures with text messages with prior statements and it’s difficult for the parasitic narcissist to keep up that facade of crying and lying they often will start getting very aggressive and the jury sees a change in demeanor as I question them their demeanor gets more aggressive more nasty and eventually their true self comes out as they’re confronted with lies narcissists don’t like to be exposed they have very thin Egos and if you attack them which very rarely does someone ever attack them especially if they play the

Victim but whenever you attack their credibility their truthfulness and their lies they tend to fold rather quickly and it’s quite amazing to watch in court they will try to lie they will try to deflect they’ll try to portray themselves as a victim but here’s what you need to do stay calm and unemotional go slow I write a note to myself slow and calm and I look at the witness and I slowly walk them through their questions and I don’t take non-responsive meaning when they evade the

Question I just stay on that question until I get the answer and I slow it down to the point where that person wants to run out of the courtroom and that’s literally happened to me in about five different cases where where I’ve had someone who is very likely a parasitic narcissist run out of the courtroom start yelling at the judge start yelling at me or just get up off the stand and walk away and be like I can’t handle this I can’t take this anymore those

Are beautiful moments for me as a lawyer but it happens when you’re dealing with parasitic narcissist remember you stay calm because their goal is to provoke you that’s what they do in life that’s who they are maintain professionalism the jury will notice the contrast between your composure and their volatility they’re going to try multiple times to read direct the emotionality cuz they want to be the center of attention they want to be the victim so if she starts crying you might pause let her regain composure

And go back to the question and you could say something like I understand this is difficult ma’am but my question was did you send this email to my client on January 10th sit there and wait until they answer you’re literally going to see them start moving back and forth we call that Tik Tok they start going like this because they don’t know what to do there’s no way out of the situation other than to run out the door or to finish up the questions as quickly

As possible another thing you need to do is expose their patterns this is usually not the first time they made similar allegations highlight it and if they made allegations and it’s admissible in your state or in your jurisdiction of Prior allegations focus on the falsehood of the allegation focus on the exaggerations focus on the lies if it’s a sexual allegation you have to get permission from The Judge first but if you can tie it to motive bias or prior untruthful acts then you may be able

To get it admitted if you’re in a relationship with a parasitic narcissist and you find yourself facing false allegations here are a few things you can do preserve evidence save text emails and any documentation of their manipulations these will be pivotal in court don’t engage you need to avoid confrontations or arguments that they can twist and use against you they tend to record stuff a lot secretly and then they cherry pick and edit what recordings are handed over to the police that’s another red flag for

Me when I’m dealing with a case where I have all these recordings handed over and I’m like where are the rest of them this thing’s clearly edited the narcissist they tend to record you all the time after picking a fight and then they edit it and hand over a portion of the part where you lose your temper so be very careful be aware of that and the third thing is consult a lawyer immediately a skilled criminal defense lawyer can identify their tactics expose their lies protect

Your rights and help you build a case to clear your name and eventually get your life back it’s not going to be easy you need to avoid these people if possible but you need to carefully extract yourself from any type of relationship like this because they will try to take you down once you cut them off a leech doesn’t like to be cut off of their food source just like a parasitic narcissist does not like to be cut off from whatever they’re draining you of whether

It’s emotional support food a house money whatever it is but you got to cut them off because there’s no safe easy way out of a situation like this the sooner the better but seek help before you do so so you don’t find yourself in trouble in closing dealing with a parasitic narcissist in the context of criminal allegations is one of the most challenging situations a person can face but with preparation composure and the right legal strategy the truth can Prevail if you’ve experienced a situation like

This or need help defending yourself against false allegations reach out to us if you’re in the mil milary or if you’re in the State of Florida otherwise reach out to a local attorney that has a lot of experience in this line of work you want someone who focuses their career on these types of cases thank you for watching if you enjoyed the video please like hit subscribe and share this video with anyone who may be in this situation.